Featured off their album Losing My Shadow, Portland’s own DIY pop designers Aan debut the visual for “Hurts to Be Alone”. An album and song inspired largely by bandleader Bud Wilson’s loss of his father; Aan shines a light on the awakening that occurs in the aftermath of grieving by highlighting the gradual processes of moving forward and getting on with life while dealing with the deep aches and pangs of absentia (and a certain type of longing that is hard to reconcile in the wake of irreversible events that cannot be mended). The PDX group pens hymns about coping with the narratives of life in the material world with an honest and reflective aesthetic that sings serenely from places of love, understanding, learning from the lessons of the universe and the pursuit of an inner (and outer) peace.

The Patrick J Servais-directed visual for "Hurts to Be Alone" is arranged to showcase a day in the life of Aan's Bud Wilson. From rising out of bed, Wilson consults a mirror of sticky-notes that indicate items of importance from "Call Mom", "Eat More Veggies", "Join Gym" to the central plot device reminder to "Make a Friend". Bud makes his way about the sidewalks of Portland, offering up a bouquet of flowers (that are politely denied by the would-be-recipient), eschewing fliers for local events, rollerblading at the skate park (and getting a cold reception by the cool-cat skateboard crowd), right before making a break for the beach. Alone with an Igloo cooler, Bud becomes friends with a lost dog that turns out to be kindred companion that joins in on inline skate outings, strolls through the city to enjoying meals together back at home. The song and video concludes with the song's endearing refrain of I got love for everyone that flourishes with the feel of a warm and timeless friendship. Aan mends the hurt of melancholia with the message about the importance of keeping an open mind and heart to finding love after the hardships of loss.

Aan’s own Bud Wilson shared the following series of insights with us regarding the song, visual and new album:

Reflections on “Hurts to Be Alone”:

“Hurts to Be Alone” was written from the perspective of my mother, months after the unexpected passing of my father. It’s an honest take on what happens when the condolences cease coming in and all that’s left is the gravity of loss and loneliness.

Thoughts on the visual adaptation:

It’s meant to juxtapose the track with subtle humor, but underneath that humor is the truth of someone just not finding their place in this world.

Thoughts on the album Losing My Shadow:

Losing My Shadow is a reflective view of the past couple years grappling with the loss of my dad and subsequent struggles; be they chemical or emotional. Many of the songs tackle the issue of emotional dependence and loneliness head on. The shadow represents those struggles kept secret, and losing them is exposing them honestly in the hope I can overcome them.

Aan’s album Losing My Shadow is available now via Fresh Selects.

Produced by:

Servais Studios

Directed by:

Patrick J Servais

Director of Photography:

Matt Semchee

1st Assistant Camera:

Matt Gromley

Jim Stanek

Key & Electric:

Cody Curtin

Mark Lovedale

Christos Georgakalopolous

Cory Standridge

Art by:

Bud Wilson

Wardrobe by:

Bree Goertzen

Production:

Ryan Moore

Dave Goodman

Appearances by:

Bud Wilson

Lola Servais

Bree Goertzen

Mark Lovedale

Matt Semchee

Megan Semchee

Elenor Semchee

Cameron Spies

Sarah McKenna

Travis Leipzig

Dana Valatka

Ryan Moore

Emily Dokken

Special Thanks:

Semchee Family

Curtin Family

Servais Family

Oliver Schall

Cory Standridge

Michael Maguire

Matt at Droptree

Exit Real World

Food Front Co-Op

Gearhead Production Rentals